No Humanists, Blacks, Dogs or Irish need apply.

“The BBC has long resisted appeals to open Thought for the Day to atheists. Senior executives regard it as the corporation’s most high-profile religious slot, reaching millions of listeners a week.” (BBC spokesperson)Homer 02

And there was I thinking that the very second the fatal words “It’s time for Thought for the Day” are oleaginously slimed forth, there’s a massive collapse in electricity consumption countrywide as people of good sense, good heart and averse to platitudes and self-righteous preaching lean across and…..switch off  their radios. For three minutes only. I do.

I suppose strictly speaking what they say is true, that the slot does reach millions. But they don’t say that anyone listens to it or fails to leave the room (for three minutes).

Homer 03

TFTD – yet another of many many reasons why I will never pay a licence fee to those smug bastards. It’s at best just a timely opportunity for the two Today presenters to get second wind for the next 70 minutes, go for a pee, have a stretch, even a crotch-scratch. I bet neither Humphreys nor Robinson could paraphrase that day’s homily later in the morning. Montague could, but then she’s a strong reason to turn off the whole bloody programme. (Anyone who repeatedly announces “A weather forecast” as though there’s the meteorological equivalent of a sodding tie-rackful lined up should be sewn into a sack with a viper, a cock, a monkey and a dog and thrown into the Tiber. *

Oh for Alexei Sayle, Kate Adie, Clive James or AC Grayling, or to have had Fred Dibnah, Victoria Wood or PD James….all intelligent, humane and articulate, funny and straightforward. All interesting. People you’d LIKE listening to, who WOULD make you think. And with no bleeding religious horse to trot out for dressage in moralising curling-papers.

Or Homer Simpson.

Funniest_Memes_thought-of-the-day_15576Dear lamented Rabbi Lionel Blue, occasional warm and kind TFTD speaker: where are you now?

Quote:”My mother was a modern woman with a limited interest in religion. When the sun set and the fast of the Day of Atonement ended, she shot from the synagogue like a rocket to dance the Charleston“.


“The Nazi said to the Jew: “The Jews are responsible for all Germany’s problems.” “Yes,” said the Jew, “the Jews and the bicycle riders.” “Why the bicycle riders?” said the Nazi, puzzled. “Why the Jews?” said the Jew.

It’s easy to make a devil out of anyone who stands in our way or has a different opinion from our own. At Christmas and public holidays there is usually a lull in devil-making, but it soon starts up again – just wait until the goodwill evaporates. The lazy left will do it with classes, the lazy right will do it with races. Government and opposition politicians will make devils out of each other, though we know it’s a game – but a foolhardy one.

And I shall do it, too. I shall make a devil out of the woman in front of me at the ticket office, who is buying a season ticket in the rush hour. I shall hate people on strike who spoil my holiday. I shall hate people whose success I fancy should be mine. Whenever I feel this way, I add to the present object of my hate the words “and the bicycle riders”, and then I realise how absurd it is.

What is the devil, after all? Just my own weaknesses, my own lack of courage, the problem I can’t face, the bit of my own self I can’t love. We are our own devils. I used to fight my devils in prayer, but now I send them up in jokes“.

When did you last hear such gentle self-mockery, such non-judgemental, non-advisory, non-moralising words on TFTD? Enseñar deleitando, as I recall telling 3A1 …… Hmm – they gave ME a Thought for the Day too, but I can’t repeat it here.

* I know, I know, that’s Roman punishment for a parricide. Who cares? ..